Planned to meet up on Saturday morning just for a “catch-up” and also because he hasn’t seen me for my birthday (which was a fricking week and a half ago). Saturday arrives, wake up early feeling good and get ready for the day, i call him to see if he is ready to rock and roll but he is on the road to Ogmore-on-sea! How about ‘sea-ing’ ME?!
There is never any apology or phone call to explain why he can’t meet up, it’s just always, this is what i’m doing so tough, you’ll have to fit your life around mine kinda vibes. This is NOT ok with me. It makes me feel unthough of and brushed aside, especially when i’ve given up time in my week to arrange something and make the effort to go.
The thing is it’s happened so many times now i don’t even bother bringing it up again or wasting breathe having a ridiculous conversation about it because i know his answer will never satisfy me and he will never be truely sorry or understand how his actions are effecting his daughter.
All i want is a connection with my father but the wires are slowly unraveling, but there is nothing i can do, he has chosen his path. I just hope he looks back one day and realises that i tried and do love him.
As i do every time, I put a smile on my face and think about all the things i am appreciative for in my life. I hold no grudge or negative energy, i just walk out that door and go for a coffee with the worlds best mum instead! ☕️ #girlpower